Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Episode 03: Human Hands in Formaldehyde

"It's not the Netherlands you mean."

Join us once again as Jon and Joel speak cheap wisdom into the microphone of justice (and treason!). Experience the thrills of "putting up" foods. Hear our heroes shiver at the prospect of instant coffee, and Joel's tell-all review of 'Need for Speed' ("I don't care about cars at all"). Then feel the tension as J&J experience technical difficulties; will Garageband defeat them this time? Will the computers win? And can the J's survive their own worst enemies: THEMSELVES?!

"Junky-pop junky-pop."

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Topics this week include:
- 'Literary alchemy' (via John Granger) in young adult fiction.
- "Witch farming" in Minecraft.
- Dream sequences in 'The Sopranos'.
- 'American Horror Story' and horror genre tropes.
- Jon's Three-Word News Segment: Fred Phelps dead.
- Joel's Picture Book of the Week: 'Superman for All Seasons'.

Homework this week includes:
- 'Fat Man on Batman'.
- Figure out what the Shannon Number is.
- Say 'colloquially' three times in a row.
- (EXTRA CREDIT): List some classical alchemical texts for Joel to read.

Essential Quotations:
- "Witches be droppin' loot."
- "Joel, you're distracting me. With your laudy, gaudy gaze."
- "The viewers couldn't see my face right there. Also, he's choking."
- "I want a laser level. Who doesn't want a laser level?"

- Joel has an epic trailer voice. Will he use it for good, or for ill?
- (Also, Joel's epic trailer voice is ill.)
- Jon ate the maple sugar booger. And it was salty.
- Jon pays for Netflix so that, at any given time, he can have any Region 1 DVD in existence laying on his coffee table for months on end.
- The morale of the story: don't make out with your toodily-pooper at the workplace of your father's choosing.