Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Episode 06: 'Captain America: The Winter Soldier'

"You've seen this film, I assume, dear listener. If not, then I am so sorry."

Freedom isn't free, and neither are movie tickets, but that doesn't stop Jon and Joel from watching the new Captain America film, 'The Winter Shoulder Soldier'. (This episode is SPOILERIFIC, so mind those tender ears.) Will S.H.I.E.L.D. finally win in its decades-long war against Frida Hydra? Will Captain America finally kiss Black Widow on the mouth? Will Arnim Zola reappear as a sentient seventies supercomputer? Oop, I mean, probably not, so don't get your hopes up...

In this week's episode, Jon will recount his ginger ale failures, Joel will explain the protocol for Marvel end-credit stingers, and both will wonder at the mid-nineties TV drama 'Touched by an Angel'. But don't worry, they won't mention the latest episode of 'Game of Thrones' (GoT). At all.

"There's nothing more terrifying... than a miracle."




- - - - -

Topics this week include:
- The Sigur Ros song from the latest episode of GoT where something happens.
Acronym Finder dot com.
- Hacktivism.
- Nolan's cult hit 'Mnemonic' 'Memento'.
- 'The Book of Imaginary Beings'.
- 'Guardians of the Galaxy' hype.
- And of course, 'Captain America: The Winter Soldier'.
- Jon's Three-Word News Segment (TWNS): "Colbert replaces Letterman?!"
- Joel's pitcha book(s) of the week (PBotW): 'Hawkeye' (again); 'A Monster Calls'.

Homework this week includes:
- "Mein F├╝hrer! I can walk!"
- Watch the 'Paprika' parade on loop as you fall asleep.
- Number Munchers.
- Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing.
- (EXTRA CREDIT): Watch 'The Borgias', but not 'Borgia'. Or maybe just go watch GoT, where someone dies.

Requisite Items for Fitting In on Earth:
- a yoyo.
- a Gameboy.
- some jeans.

Essential Quotations:
- "We've both said our two bits. Now let's blow up shit."
- On Spider-men: "Three's company."
- On 'Inception's dream strata: "... a guns-ablazing jungle gym of joy."
- "We're guessing aliens, but it could have been anything."
- "Mmm, human sax." "These are not the sax you're looking for."
- "God rest his weary head to rest. Don't you cry no more."

SPOILERS:
- ALL MEN MUST DIE!!
- Jon is a history buffoon, and a bit flustered at that.
- Jon hasn't watched the first 'Captain America' film.
- Joel makes his first 'Team America: World Police' reference.
- Captain America does not ingest Forget-Me-Now's; he just assumes that no one remembers what happened in the first film.
- (Some instances of swearing may or may not exist in last week's episode, mostly dependent on whether you think mindf*** is a swear.)