Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Episode 22: 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'

"Who cares?! Why does anyone care?!"

What has green skin, ninja masks, and no sense of story? This week the J's follow Megan Fox a little too closely as she is reintroduced to the monsters she help create then dropped down a sewer grate. But how could she have known that she would be creating film #49183, 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'? Between phantom avalanches and boss battles between a disgusting mutant rat and Mecha-Scissorhands, prepare yourself for the impending hate-fest.

Meanwhile, EVERYONE IS SICK. (F.J. apologizes for the odd editing this episode, but cutting out three and a half minutes of sniffs and coughs is just about as cumbersome as it sounds.) Jon works on his cocaine face, and becomes somebody's Minecraft hero. Joel watches four (4!) other films and reviews them all! And the guys take a minute to grief the loss of a great human being earlier this week, Robin Williams. There are ups, there are downs, but through it all the boys stand strong. (What?) It's episode twenty-two of J&J; select a character and press 'start' to begin.

<meta_aside>SPOILERS ABOUND</meta_aside>

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Topics this week include:
- Endermen.
- Hodor.
- So long, Robin Williams. You were and always will be loved.
- 'Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa'.
- 'After Dark' podcast.
- 'Man on Wire'.
- 'The Sopranos' s05.
- 'Sherman's March'.
- 'Fargo' (the TV show).
- 'Grand Piano', starring Tom Sellick.
- Mondo Gecko.
- 'Turtles in Time' on the SNES.
- Cosmic incest (the good kind).
- Joel's PBotW: 'Aqua-Man, Vol. II', 'Hellboy in Hell', 'Pacific Rim: Year Zero'.

Homework this week includes:
- Why Jon laughed at "Grand Piano".
- EXTRA CREDIT: They really should know this, but what is the opera piece the boys were singing?

Essential Quotations:
- "It's no 'Nessun Dorma', let's just say that."
- "Do not share the sick, children. Unless you are a penguin, then share the sick."

- This podcast contains little to no pizza.