Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Episode 31: 'Dracula Untold'

"Let the games begin."

Welcome back! We meet again at our proverbial firepit for a scathing review of a terrible film. This week, film #49314 tells the completely untold legend of Dracula! For the first time! Ever! Meanwhile, Jon finishes books he has previously reviewed, and Joel doesn't read picture books on a freakin' iPhone. And NERD SHOWDOWN: has digital really overtaken film on the big screen? Grab your skull-full of vampire blood and remove all silver jewelry; it's time for episode thirty-one of J&J!

<meta_aside>SPOILERS ABOUND</meta_aside>

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Topics this week include:
- 'Dracula Untold'.
- Soylent, and what was in the box.
- Gone Girl, again. Gone Again Girl. The sequel.
- 'How I Met Your Mother'.
- 'Parks and Recreation'.
- 'Dead Ringers'.
- 'Maria Bamford: The Special Special Special!'
- 'Nosferatu'.
- "Now if you're playing the movie, on a telephone..."
- the things good wives do for their vampire husbands.
- blindfolded armies.
- 70mm love.
- Joel's PBotW: 'Fatale Vol. 3: West of Hell', 'The Nightmare Factory, Vol. 2'.

Homework this week includes:
- If a story is told by deaf mutes, is it... really...
- EXTRA CREDIT: Watch 'Nosferatu'.

Joel's Song for the Week:
- 'Jazzerlude'.

Essential Quotations:
- "It's a smorgasbord!"

- Jon hasn't seen past season one of BSG.
- Vampires are allergic to silver. No really.